Settling in

I finally have internet in my new appartment. It's amazing how many things can go wrong when moving into a flat in the UK. Things-just-do-not-work!

I went to Singapore on holiday a couple of weeks ago and was blown away by how great the place was. Not only was it hot and sunny and full of shopping malls, but the whole place functioned like an overclocked well oiled machine with super efficient watercooling that lights up! Unlike Finlands publick stairwells, escalators, gateways and elevators, nothing smelled of wee. Singapore's vast lattice or underground walkways, the subway and infinite numbers of escalators and lifts were all sparkly clean, fresh and airconditioned. They were also filled with nice people who gave their seats to the more needy in a heartbeat.

The tube stations were dotted along the edges with indicated areas where the train doors would stop. In addition to this, in front of said indicated areas were clearly painted instructions on how to correctly enter and exit a train without hassle, delay or deaths. It's quite simple, Londoners: in from the sides and out from the middle. It went something like this:

None of this silly scuffling along the edge trying to guess where it might stop so you may optimally position yourself to force your way in against the rightful current of people coming off the train. See Michael McIntyre about this tube thing, he tells it better than I do.

So anyway, the reason I'm telling you about Singapore, is because I told my supervisor about my trip as well as all the problems I'd had moving into my apartment. "What do you think this is, Singapore?" he exclaimed and we had a good laugh. Indeed, this is not singapore, it's Wales.

So what did happen with the apartment. Well. I had e-mailed the office to ask if I could move in a week early so I could get some peace and quiet to finish of this damned dissertation. They said yes. So I turned up on Saturday with my baggage (emotional and luggage kind) and the lady in the office was slightly shocked that I was there asking to move in. My apartment has been the show room for the private accommodation company and so firstly some busy wardens were ushered into my room to clear it out.

Then I was given a key and told that it does not work on the front door yet, so I will have to enter through the back door. However, turns out that the back door is impossible to close firmly from the outside so I would have to exit through the front door. Clearly this is a sensible way to do things. Not only that, but the key also opens every other door in the building, so I was kindly asked not to go into other people's currently empty apartments. And before you think I'm a nosy person, I would like to tell you that I resisted the temptation.

Ok, so I got into my apartment, weird key and all and get unpacked. I notice that my shower does not work. I also notice that none of my taps produce hot water. My stove works on a booster switch which I find really odd and I don't have internet. I also discover that one of the cupboards in my studio flat is taken up by a water boiler. Things don't work like this where I'm from, I don't know how to use a boiler. In Finland, water magically appears in both hot and cold forms from one tap depending on which way you turn the handle. No buttons or electrical equipment or additional knobs or lights or switches needed.

That night (one of the first nights) I go to roast an organic chicken thigh (because I'm doing all kinds of trendy and responsible things with food now) in my microwave-oven combo (which slightly freaks me out) and I hear a peculiar rattling coming from inside. I tentatively open the door and a small puff of grey smoke escapes and I meet a smell of melting plastic. Suffice to say I have not dared use the oven again. I did tell the office lady about this and she told me to keep the oven on and see if it stops. That is totally the scientific approach to solving this problem.

Tonight, I finally have internet. I also have a shower that works, hot water coming out of my taps with varying success and I have keys to my new office. I have cooked proper food in my very own slightly dysfunctional kitchen every day and even though I have not dared to turn the microwave-oven on again, life is good right now.

I just need to get this dissertation submitted by next week.